Gloucester is where my Harte is

Since I moved out of home at the age of 19-20 I have moved to 5 different care establishments and one failed home of my own in the last 3-4 years, all because I have quadriplegic cerebral palsy and need help with the majority of everyday tasks, but I’m still your average 20-25 year old. I love clubbing, I have a boyfriend, I like going out with my friends independently and I go on trains by myself, but what I want most of all is to get married, have kids and get a home of my own. Ever since I can remember I have told people when I grow up I want to get a home of my own. When I left my specialist boarding college the future looked bright. I found a specialist block of flats in Bristol that came with a care package that meant I could have a home of my own. I was so excited I went out and brought everything I would need for my new home including furniture and appliances, but it soon became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to get all the care I needed. I got a letter confirming that fact from the Bristol council. It said the care package I needed was to expensive and they may have to find cheaper alternative accommodation. I decided to move out before I was kicked out. I moved back to my home county and was told I had to many care needs to live in a home of my own, and that I would have to go into a residential home. I excepted that fact but ever since then I have gone from temporary placement to temporary placement while they have tried to find me a permanent home. This has proven nie on impossible for them to do because there are next to no residential homes that cater for people that only have physical disabilities and no mental impairment. So they have now decided that their only option is to give me the most expensive care package they can provide a home of my own with 24 hour care! Why didn’t they listen to my family when they suggested to them that was probably what I needed before all this started. It’s because the government just see disabled people as a expense not a person. They forget that we have thoughts, feelings and dreams too, they just want to care for us in the least expensive way possible. They seem to over look the fact that we didn’t ask to have a disability, and how would they want to live if it was them. As it is they have agreed to give me this care package but the want me to stay in my home county regardless of the fact that all my friends, social opportunities and best help to manage my disability is in Gloucester where I went to boarding college. I’ve tried everyone else’s ideas and had to pay the consequences when they failed and they expected me to put up with it because I relied on them for care. well I’ve had a enough its my life not the governments!!!


Nobody understands nobody cares
Move move all I do is move
Got a house but I don’t got a home
Gone form care home to care home in the last 4 years
I want to brake free
Nobody understands nobody cares
Move move all I do is move
That’s all they want me to do
They control my life, not me, it’s all about the money
Nobody understands nobody cares
Move move all I do is move
Told to make a decision
Then told its wrong
How can it be wrong If its mine?
It’s wrong because its mine not yours
Well I’ve had enough
I’m going to get tough
Take back my life not yours
Slam a few doors
I’m moving to gloucester
So up yours

Books are in of their own wold

As I said in my last post I have a new kindle fire. which means I have been reading a lot more since Friday. When I read a story it’s as if I’m in the scene invisible watching it happen. I have a very vivid imagination it makes me Imagine that the charterer’s might be frozen in time, until you pick the book up and start to read, and every time you shut the book the characters are suspended in time until you start reading again. Books are a great way to escape the world, and help you through the most difficult Situations, because you just forget your own life and concentrate on what is happening in the story.

Surprising day

Yesterday (13th) I went to see my blood family and got a shock, they were ALL happy to see me,and all came out to meet me (except my step dad) nan dropped off my kindle fire I bought with my birthday money, and my sister was surprised how big it was compared with hers, she couldn’t get over it. 🙂 my sister helped me buy most of the books i wanted with a gift card containing my Easter money after we worked out how the card worked nan bought a complicated one! it took everyone in the house to figure it out! I had a great day better enjoy it while it lasts

Caring about strangers

I find it hard to make friends! I only have one person I class as my friend don’t get me wrong I have at least 4 people that could conventionally be classed as friends, but the people I manage to call friends have to earn my trust over an extremely extensive period of time, because I’ve been let down by the majority of the people I have trusted, but WordPress has helped me become more socially confident. I’m following blogs of people in situations I can really empathise with, with commenting on their blogs and getting kind personal responses back. special thanks to midnitechild and barryleethompson. 🙂 When people I follow write about misfortunes on their blog I genuinely feel disheartened and in times of joy I feel elated. It’s amazing and wonderful how emotionally empathetic you can become towards people who would otherwise be strangers.
Thank you for bringing people together and giving them a place to share their experiences.

paralysing ambulance

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Yesterday (5th) I heard a ambulance as usual I froze with fear. That’s what comes of having a friend with a life threatening medical condition. One minute he can be fine but That can change extremely quickly I don’t even live near him or the hospital he would go to but even so I can’t escape the fear the sound just goes straight through me routing me to.the spot. I don’t move till the sound has completely faded away it is extremely nerve raking especially when he’s one of the only two people who “I ” can tell cares about me, but what up sets me more is you generally have this condition from birth with exceptions but it means babies as young as a few hours old are having brain surgery to save their lives and its not even permeant they have to have regular operations throughout their entire lives.sometime they even have to be resuscitated during the operation. There are families all over the world who live in this situation some children just have to die slowly because their country doesn’t have the medical knowledge equipment or the money to help them and not enough people know about this condition so if you have taken the time to read and like this post please look at And these blogs And the videos on this earlier post I wrote

Streeter life

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I walked past a subway today it reminded me of when I lived in a boarding college residence in Gloucester and my best friend lived about a 35 minute walk away. He used to walk and pick me up every weekend all weekend! Then we’d walk the 30 minutes back to town together. With just enough money for lunch, we’d go into shops like HMV and test out the speakers or just walk round town listening to rock music walking side by side sharing headphones, and most of time we’d buy subway for lunch then we’d either sit on a wall, bench or go back to his flat to eat it. I remember how much fun we used to have, we haven’t done that for ages because we live a lot further away from each other now but we still see each other regularly, so next time I see him I well have to get him to take me to subway and spend the whole day up town just like old times!

A hole new wold

I have not been blogging very long,but since then a lot has changed, because of personal reasons I’d rather not go into I don’t get out much, but blogging has helped me mentally escape my four walls.i have met some extraordinary people and I am following their journeys seeing their highs and their lows I’m amazed how personal a situation some of these people are willing to share with strangers and I admire them for it. They are giving people awareness about little known situations which I feel we all need to be more aware of, blogging has increast my self esteem every time I get a like or a follower I am overjoyed that people are interested in what I have to say. So I guess this Is a thank you to everyone I have met and every
One I am going to meet.

Much love street girl

Do I need to change things?

I am sat in my room facing the window typing on my iPad, it has been a weird couple of days. Ive got used to not being close to my family now i think of my best friend as being my family, but Easter has change all that.i have called my sister every day since. Does this mean i can’t think of my best friend as my family anymore, because i loved part of my real family? No as soon as I asked the question I knew the answer, no it doesn’t maybe if I got close to the rest of my blood family I would have to rethink things, but that isn’t going to happen. No it just means My family is getting bigger and stronger I have more people I can trust that love me unconditionally.

Please comment I’d love to hear your opinion

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blood in MY family

I saw my blood family for easter (see what makes a family for more explanation) that was the same as usual they didn’t really pay me much attention, but my sister spent a lot of time with me. Showing me her kindle and all her apps.i said I wanted to have a sister day with her and she grabbed my Nan’s Callander before anyone could stop her, and found a date my nan wasn’t doing anything and wrote that we were going over to Nan’s before anyone could say no. Than I sent her a text saying thanks for today and we ended up talking on the phone for ages. She told me my family our like it with her to, they keep themselves to themselves unless THEY! Want to talk to you. I didn’t know my sister was so loving I now have blood in MY family

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